NEBRASKA According to Larry the Cable Guy

What Larry the Cable Guy, a now famous Pawnee City fella (which is IN Nebraska), says about Nebraska

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May,
you live in Nebraska.

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they
don't work there, you live in Nebraska.

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in
Nebraska.

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who
dialed a wrong number, you live in Nebraska.

If "Vacation" means going anywhere south of GRAND ISLAND for the
weekend, you live in Nebraska.

If you measure distance in squares of farm land, you live in
Nebraska.

If you know several people who have hit a cow more than once,
you live in Nebraska.

If you have gone from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back
again, you live in Nebraska.

If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging
blizzard without flinching, you live in Nebraska.

If you install security lights on your house and garage, but
leave both unlocked, you live in Nebraska.

If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use
them, you live in Nebraska.

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a
snowsuit, you live in Nebraska.

If the I-80 speed limit is 75 mph -- you're going 90 and
everybody is passing you, you live in Nebraska.

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are
filled with snow, you live in Nebraska.

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter
and road construction, you live in Nebraska.

If you have more hours on your snow blower than miles on your
car, you live in Nebraska.

If you find 10 degrees "a little chilly," you live in Nebraska.

If you understand these jokes, and forward them to all your
Nebraska friends & others, you actually have lived in Nebraska!

I would like to add an other one: If you know who "Larry, The Cable Guy" is, without asking, and you love him, you are from Nebraska.

--Luke Cochran