Saturday, January 20, 2007

The Meanest Mom in the WHOLE WORLD!

In response to the “Mean Moms” email that was circulating in 2002, I wrote the following email to our mother, Alice Gregory. She saved it and I found it among the papers I am transcribing for her book, “From Where I Rock.”

Thanks, Mamma, for being among the rare breed of “MEANEST MOMs in the WHOLE WORLD”, I hope my kids think I was MEAN also!

You were SO mean when you MADE us get up at 5:30 and milk cows, feed calves & chickens every morning before our breakfast of AWFUL oatmeal and RAW milk and REAL cream with NOOOOOOOOOOO sugar!! And then MADE us do chores again in the evening.

You were SO mean when you sent HOMEMADE WHOLE WHEAT bread sandwiches (sometimes ROUND bread baked in Crisco cans) to school with us. And… it was SO mean to make sure we had a sandwich, a fruit, a drink and a cookie in our lunch every day.

You were SO mean when you MADE us help peal peaches & pears and take seeds out of plums and apricots every fall when you canned 100000000s of jars of fruit. (and in the process you were so MEAN to teach us how to can).

You were SO mean when you MADE us take turns doing dishes and MADE us include washing the stove, countertops and FLOOR as part of that chore and when it wasn’t our turn for dishes, we HAD TO clean the bathroom. (I think we had the cleanest bathroom in the whole world).

You were SO mean when you MADE us help you hang out clothes on the line EVEN when it was so cold out our hands FROZE.

You were SO mean when you MADE us help you clean house, dust the furniture, scrub the floors and sometimes wash the windows every Friday to be ready for Sabbath.

You were SO mean when you MADE us go for walks on Sabbath afternoon and collect bugs, butterflies, leaves from trees, local plants and flowers, learn the names of birds and in the process MADE us appreciate nature.

You were SO mean when you MADE us practice the piano every day to be ready for our weekly lesson (which you paid for with the cream & eggs)

You were SO mean when you MADE us wear the pretty DRESSES you stayed up late at night making for us!

You were SO mean when you MADE us cover our arms, legs and head when it was cold outside.

You were SO mean when you MADE us walk home from school occasionally on nice days.

You were SO mean when you wouldn’t let us wear mini skirts!!

You were SO mean when you taught us to sew our own clothes and we had to wear HOMEMADE clothes to school.

You were SO mean when you MADE us take turns driving to town after we got driver’s licenses. And you were SO mean when you insisted that you be in the car with us and wouldn’t let us go to town by ourselves except on RARE occasions.

You were SO mean when you MADE us consider other people’s feelings and have empathy for everyone in the world, even the worst criminals, just by your example of doing this yourself.

You were SO mean when you insisted on us telling you the truth.

You WIN the MEANEST MOM Award!!

I love you and am SO PROUD of having the MEANEST Mamma in the World.

-- Editor

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