The Nebraskan

A guy from Nebraska dies and goes to Hell. He had been a horrible man all his life. The devil puts him to work breaking up rocks with a sledgehammer. To make it even worse, he cranks up the temperature and humidity.

After a couple of days, the devil checks in on his victim to see if he is suffering adequately. The devil is aghast as the Nebraskan is happily swinging his hammer and whistling a happy tune.

The devil walks up to him and says "I don't understand this! I've turned the heat way up, it's humid and you're crushing rocks. Why are you so happy?"

The Nebraskan, with a big smile, looks at the devil and replies,

"This is great! It reminds me of August in Haigler. Hot, humid and a good place to work. It reminds me of home. This is fantastic!"

The devil, extremely perplexed, walks away to ponder the Nebraskan's remarks. He then decides to drop the temperature, send down a driving rain and torrential winds. Soon, Hell is a wet, muddy mess.

Walking in mud up to his knees with dust blowing in his eyes, the Nebraskan is happily slogging through the mud pushing a wheelbarrow full of crushed rocks. Again, the devil asks how he can be so happy in such awful conditions.

The Nebraskan, with a big smile, looks at the devil and replies,

"This is great! It's just like April in Nebraska. It reminds me of working out on the farm with spring planting. It reminds me of home. This is fantastic!"

Now the devil is completely baffled. He is more determined than ever to make the Nebraskan suffer. He then makes the temperature plummet.

Suddenly, Hell is blanketed in six feet of snow and ice. Confident that this will finally make the Nebraskan unhappy, he checks in on him again.

He is again aghast at what he sees! The guy is dancing, singing, and twirling his sledgehammer as he cavorts in utter glee.

"How can you be so happy? Don't you know it's 40 below zero?!!" screams the devil.

Jumping up and down the Nebraskan throws a snowball at the devil and yells,

"Hell is frozen over!! This means the Huskers are going to win the Big 12 Conference and go to the Fiesta Bowl.