Rules for Entering Our Corner of the World

Since Haigler sits on two state lines and people from other places often travel through our corner of the world, I am going to post these RULES FOR ENTERING NEBRASKA. (Those of us from across the lines and that live in the community will know we're talking about "US" from this area of all three states.)

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RULES FOR ENTERING NEBRASKA

1. Pull up your droopy pants. You look like an idiot.
2. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
3. They are cattle & feed lots. That's what they smell like to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? Hiway 34 and I-80 goes east and west.
4. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $200,000 combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year.
5. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly.Try to understand the concept.
6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of pheasants are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
7. Yeah, we eat catfish. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.
8. The "Opener" refers to the first day of pheasant/deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.
9. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age.
   
10. We say Thank You, You're Welcome and God Bless, etc.
11. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.
12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats,vegetables and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and Picante Sauce. Oh, yeah... We don't care what you folks in Malibu call that stuff you eat...We call it a Runza or a Rueben. Both originated in Nebraska.
13. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
14. The "Huskers", High School Football/ Baseball/ Volleyball/ Basketball /Track/ Wresting/ Softball - as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a whole lot more fun to watch.
15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards. It spooks the fish.
16. Colleges? Try Lincoln, Omaha, Kearney, Wayne, Chadron, York or a bunch a'others. They come outa there with an education plus a love for country, and they still wave at passing pickups when they come for the holidays.
17. So just Wave if you are a NEBRASKAN.............:) Always remember what Gen. Eisenhower once said: "Nebraska can make it without the United States but the United States can't make it without Nebraska."

-- Submitted by Karen Lindell